A thing has happened!
With a beautiful warm day painted outside our bedroom window, I took the easy decision to not only smear myself in suncream’s familiar happy smell, but also don my shorts, a whole month earlier than last year.
Aww yeah.
Was this the best day ever? Only time would tell, but as Beth asked me how many slices of bacon I wanted with my pancakes, it was off to a good start!
We arrived at the starting point of our walk at Buxted station at about quarter past twelve with slightly sore throats, after winding the windows down and spending half an hour belting out songs from our youth (apologies to anyone between East Farleigh and Buxted who had to endure our loud music and singing as we passed).
We made our way up the road from the station in the sunshine, before turning right through a small estate where we found a footpath to take us into the countryside beyond. We crossed a small stream and made our way up the side of a couple of fields, after which we arrived at the day’s first quiet country lane. We made our way down the road ahead and then turned left at Nan Tucks lane. We followed the rising tarmac, turned left onto Pound Green Lane and eventually right across an unusually stepped stile back into more fields. Here the view opened up before us and we could see what lay ahead. After another couple of fields we came out a our next lane, and at the bottom of this across another stream, we came across an obstacle. Most of the winter’s mud has dried already (in fact I have never known anything like it and is incredibly unseasonal), yet about a field’s entrance remained a wide patch of deep, wet mud, through which our path led. I climbed over the stile to make an attempt, but found my boot sinking into the mud with no sign of firm footing to be found. Before I slipped completely in, I pulled myself out and began gingerly making my way around the edge, clinging to the fence looking for a crossing point. Beth meanwhile had used her brain, and had already travelled back down the fence, selected a much drier spot and climbed over. I, however, was not quite so patient, and had instead found myself a point which I considered jumpable, and so I did. As I landed loudly on the other side, I heard a sudden burst of movement from the bushes ahead and looked up in time to see a trio of deer bums breaking cover and running across the open field. After watching them go, we hopped another small stream and rejoined the path. This was all Beth’s idea, and it was a good one, but was technically mild trespass – naughty naughty…
Across the paddock we entered a narrow patch of woods, amongst which we found some large yellow daffodils bathing in the light. We made our way along a path thick with crispy, brown leaves and lined with roots and mosses, soon coming out at a bridleway which led us pass a farmyard. This was one of our favourite spots of the day, as we came across a glowing colony of Wild Garlic leaves and a barn full of cows with a few calves at their feet, as well as a surly looking bull around the corner. After this, we entered an extended section of woodland walking which was about a mile long. The forest floor was full of green shoots and the branches echoing with bird song, although much of the path was still quite muddy and more than once we climbed up the banks to avoid wet socks. We emerged onto a driveway which took us into the halfway point of Hadlow Down, and here we began to feel the heat of the day and sweating began to occur. Fortunately, the church was just around the corner where we hoped to find a bench, and our prayers were rewarded, so we sat ourselves down to refuel and cool off.
Lunch eaten and we exited through the back of the church yard, past the school and picked up another footpath to take us back out to the fields. Despite only having stopped for about ten minutes, already the sun felt a lot lower in the sky and the day a little cooler. We crossed over a squelchy field where we could only see the path after reaching the opposite corner and looking back, and then continued across the open countryside. To our right, the downs fell away to reveal views of both Crowborough and Saxonbury Hill (both correctly identified by myself) in the distance. Another section of lane walking awaited us next, which toward the end included a slightly blind and fast road crossing, requiring us to retreat a short way up the road for better visibility. Next we went a little way down a long driveway and took a footpath waiting for us on the left. At this point we were due to swap bags, and after she had put it on, Beth asked me to check that my jacket was still attached at the back. This turned out just to be a mean trick, because as I inspected the situation, she farted at me, very deliberately.
After this delightful interlude, we carried on along the woodland track, and a few minutes later came to an abrupt halt. Off amongst the trees and green shoots to our right, were three deer. They stared in our direction, but did not flee. Two stood and one remained laid amongst the glowing woodland floor, as for a few minutes we just looked at each other. Who knows, maybe these were the three we had disturbed earlier, but whilst a few hidden companions scampered away through the bushes, the trio remained. They were unusually close and not afraid. After enjoying the scene, we turned and left them to enjoy their day. We carried on across a series of fields and patches of woodland, one particular stretch of which was muddy enough to leave a significant amount of mud splattered up by bare leg. This eventually rose up to a final field and a funky patch of small bridges over a criss-cross of water ways, at the top of which we made our way onto Church Lane. This led us back into Buxted, past a large final field full of an impressive mixed flock of sheep.
We made it back to the station about three and a half hours after leaving and had pleasantly throbbing feet. For a shortish walk, there was quite a lot of road walking, although given the sheer volume of shoots amongst the woods, it would undoubtedly make this a stunning walk come bluebell season, and opportunity for such deer encounters are never to be sniffed at!
For our post walk pint, we were aiming to try out ‘The Black Boys Inn’ which was a pub we had passed many times, and was now only a couple of miles down the road. However, as we started the car, my engine oil light flashed up, as did a ‘Oil pressure low, stop safely’ notification. Oh, I thought, not great, but it then vanished, and I hoped it was just a faulty sensor. However, as we left the station, it flashed on again, and then off, and then on again. This continued as we made our way nervously to the nearby pub, hoping the problem would go away, but instead the engine began to make a knocking noise. By the time we reached the pub a few minutes later, we knew something was undeniably wrong.
Long story short, after the first of the days two AA trucks had arrived, it transpired that I had experienced an ‘Eco Boom’, a known fault with my type of car, which is a very complicated and costly job to fix. We would need towing home, and so we waited, knowing that the recovery truck would be a couple of hours. Well, we had come to try the pub, and what else were we going to do?
So, trying to make the best of it and come to terms with what was going on, we made our way toward the entrance of the inn, hoping that we could at least pass the time over a couple of drinks. We entered the bar at about ten past six.
WHO CALLS LAST ORDERS AT 6PM?
Honestly, this was the worst thing to happen all day.
We despondently made our way back to the car to wait, as I muttered about the ridiculousness of the situation.
And so we waited, as night drew in and time ticked on. The truck did eventually arrive, by which point we had almost as much time in the car park as we had on the route. Fortunately, at this point our luck began to turn, with the arrival of AA driver Dave. He shared my disgust at the 6pm last orders, which made me feel seen, and that was enough for me to decide he was cool. We were his last job of the day and it turned out he lived just down the road from us! He got us loaded and we jumped in the van, and on the way home he told us his rescue stories and actually he was a good laugh – he also towed the car to the garage just down the road before then running us home (something he wasn’t meant to do but did it to save us another towing fee), and informed us (as he used to work for ford) that because the engine still ran, there was a chance it wouldn’t be quite as expensive at expected – honestly, he helped make the whole situation a lot better, and we were very grateful for all of his help.
I would also like to give a big shout out to Beth, who also remained calm and composed throughout the whole affair, which made the entire unfortunate episode a lot easier to manage – thanks babe.
So, was today the best day ever? Probably not, but it certainly was one that we won’t forget in a while, and after all, all’s well that ends well.
Full walk available at https://www.eastsussex.gov.uk/leisure-tourism/circular
Matthew G. Huggins 